Soul Part Integration: The Inner Child Meditation

One of the major tasks on my healing journey was "re-parenting" myself. For me, this was a crucial aspect of integrating child soul parts that had been returned via soul retrieval. My helping Spirits gave me this prescription, which I followed almost daily for at least a year, and it was profoundly healing. Clients are often given this prescription too.

Sit quietly and get grounded and present, and ask your inner child to enter your consciousness. When you've made contact with her,* ask her how old she is, and have a conversation as appropriate for her age:

  • Welcome her and tell her that you love her, and you're glad she's here. Let her know where and when she is now - in a safe and loving place (which may be very different from how things actually were when she/you were that age).

  • Ask her how how she is feeling. Listen, and respond as you would to your own child of that age. For example, if she is sad, mad or scared, empathize with her and comfort her. If she is happy, share in her joy. Be honest and specific in your responses. For example, avoid saying "everything's going to be ok" if YOU aren't sure that it is. Instead, you might say, "whatever happens, I will be here for you and we'll get through it together." (Of course, you will need to follow through on this commitment!)

  • Ask her what she needs today. If you don't know how you can meet this need, go to the need underneath the one she is stating, and find a way to meet that one. (Keep looking for the need under the need until you get to the one you can meet.) Talk to her about all this: What the (underlying) need is that you're going to meet, and how you're going to do that.

  • Ask her what she wants today. If it is reasonable and healthy, give it to her. If not, negotiate until you come to agreement about a want that is reasonable, healthy, and doable today. If it's something you can do another time in the future, talk to her about that. She may not be happy about the final agreement, but that's ok.

  • Follow through with what you've told her!!

This meditation serves several purposes:

  1. Validating your inner child's existence. Many of us with difficult childhoods were ignored, or our wants and needs were neglected or even violated to the point that we began to doubt that we were even real.

  2. Helping her trust that she is now in a safe place, and can release the vigilance and armoring she needed to survive before.

  3. Giving her permission to have needs and wants, and developing the expectation within her that these matter and will have an audience.

  4. Teaching her that if she asks, she will have her needs met. This builds assertiveness skills.

  5. Developing skills in self-regulation and self-soothing when she experiences difficult emotions.

  6. Understanding the difference between wants and needs (and finding the core needs that underly the more apparent ones). This is part of discipline.

  7. Accepting that she can't always have everything she wants, and that's ok. This is part of healthy limit-setting that children need. Another aspect of discipline.

  8. Avoiding unconsciously having the inner child running your life and reacting childishly.

  9. Letting her know she is not alone, that you'll be there for her. The cause of much trauma is not always what happened, but the fact that when it happened we had no-one to turn to - we were alone, and unable to handle whatever we were going through without help. Had we the external resources, in the form of a stable adult, those experiences may not have caused trauma, or caused much less.

If all this seems like too much, like you're afraid you won't be able to follow-through on your commitment, or you won't do it every day, of you'll forget during the course of the day that's ok. We didn't need perfect parents, we just needed good enough parents, and that's still what your inner child needs. Because you don't expect her to be perfect either. Consistent attention over a period of time is more important than perfection

* I used female pronouns in this post for convenience sake, and because I'm a female :-) Please don't take offense - it applies equally to males.

#shamanism #trauma #InnerChild #healing #SoulRetrieval #soul #SoulPartIntegration

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